


Glass Eulogy

by kingcael



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Flashback, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7176326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingcael/pseuds/kingcael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles about Braska's pilgrimage, as the party finds spheres all over Spira. <br/>Auron PoV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass Eulogy

The air in Besaid was clear and fresh, and smelled of the tropical fruits that grew in abundance, mixed with the salty tang of the sea. The air in Zanarkand had a similar scent, but it felt manufactured, as if the air was being recycled. The realness of this air was refreshing, but also frightening. I had always felt somewhat normal in Zanarkand, being made of pyreflies like the rest of the citizens. Being back in Spira made me feel stunningly fake.

The children had been playing together, laughing and splashing in the waves. I think they expected me to protest a return to Besaid, but I knew it was in everyone’s best interest to… rejuvenate before we returned to Bevelle.

Earlier in the day, amidst claims from all the villagers of Yuna’s innocence, we came across one of Jecht’s spheres that he had been leaving all over.

I wondered if somehow he knew that we would find them. Or maybe he was just absent-minded.

Braska had left a sphere behind for Yuna that I was supposed to deliver. I lost it during my climb back over Gagazet.

It was a miracle we had happened upon it. I was grateful for my high collar because I was certain my stoicism had failed me completely.

Braska’s voice. His face. Those kind words. How I had longed to hear his voice again, not just within my own nightmares.

Yuna had played it back, over and over. It was too much for me to take eventually, and I left the camp, wandering up the slopes alone. The stones seemed familiar, and yet, more jagged and worn down. The mountain was as tired as I was.

I sat on the edge of a cliff, and let one leg hang over the edge, propping my chin on my other knee. If I stopped concentrating on the biting cold, it stopped affecting me. The closer we got to Spira’s Zanarkand the less I felt complete. It was as if Spira was slowly pulling me apart. I could manipulate my body now, more than I ever could in Zanarkand. If I allowed it, I’m sure I would fly apart and become a part of the mountain. But I couldn't, not until--

“May I sit with you?” Yuna asked suddenly. I didn’t even notice her walking up behind me. I looked up at her, and she was genuinely waiting for affirmation. Braska’s sphere was still in her hand, and my gaze lingered on it.

“Of course,” I said, and my voice was soft.

I started, and quickly pulled my pyreflies closer, and a blast of wind made me sway on the edge.

Yuna knelt next to me, and held the sphere on her lap. She had a fur cape on, a gift from the Ronsos, and the cowl and hood reminded me so forcefully of Braska I had to look away.

“I hurt you with this, Sir Auron,” Yuna said, running her fingers over the smooth sphere. “I’m sorry.”

I said nothing, and she continued.

“My father… he always wanted what was best for me. He believed in defeating Sin, because that was what he thought would be best.” Yuna bowed her head, and her grip on the sphere became tense. I watched her carefully, but couldn’t meet her eyes. “He was wrong.”

Her words hit me like a slap across the face. I gaped, finally looking her in the eye.

“I loved him, I love him. But… this—“ Yuna stopped, and pressed her lips together. “I understand what he was feeling. I will not stop my pilgrimage. But I cannot help but feeling… this is wrong. I know how it feels to be left behind. To be alone when the world is celebrating.”

I swallowed, and felt completely solid. Present. Listening to the words of his daughter. She and I were the same. We loved and respected Braska, and would never dishonour his decision but we disagreed.

If she knew my thoughts as a younger man…

Perhaps she had some idea. She is perceptive.

She shivered, and pulled the fur cape closer to her. Even as real as I felt, the cold wouldn’t affect me like that. I shifted, and unbuckled my belt and shrugged out of my robe.

“Oh, Sir Auron! You’ll be cold! I can’t-“

I said nothing, but draped my robe around her shoulders and tugged it closed under her chin. I willed the pyreflies in it to become warm, and she smiled.

“Thank you.”

I nodded, and looked back out to the setting sun. Yuna scooted closer to me, and tentatively leaned against me, probably to ensure I also wasn’t cold.

“I… Here,” Yuna said, and offered me the sphere.

“It is yours,” I said, making no move to take it.

“Rikku… she found another message. This is an Al Bhed sphere, and she found a code input. I don’t really understand, but…”

I couldn’t help my interest, and held my hand out. Yuna placed the sphere in it with reverence, and rotated the disc that held the sphere, and pushed a code in.

“A code?” I asked.

“Yes,” Yuna said, carefully pushing the buttons on the disc. “We tried inputting your name, and another message showed up.” Yuna pressed her lips together. “We watched it. I’m sorry. Ah, there.”

The sphere changed from blue to red, and awaited confirmation of playback.

“Shall I leave?”

I shook my head, and pressed play.

A scene shimmered to life, one I recognised as the inside of our tent during Braska’s pilgrimage. A dim light illuminated Braska’s face, and I could see indistinct shapes in the background, suggesting Jecht and I asleep behind him. Braska had lit a single candle, which only served to worsen his tired eyes.

“I’m afraid,” he said. “I felt I could confide in you, my friend.”

Braska sighed deeply, and ran his fingers through his hair. “I am afraid at how easily I can walk to my death. I know my death will mean the death of Sin. But I fear that my ease is a burden upon you.” Braska cleared his throat, and repositioned the sphere, so it was closer to his face. “Auron, I’m sorry.”

I took a deep breath, and Yuna seemed to be holding hers.

Braska looked wretched, and sighed again, resting his head on his knees. He looked back up, and managed a small smile. “I am so grateful to you. I care for you deeply, and—hmm. I would not have made it this far without you. You are a true friend.”

There was some movement in the background, and Jecht rolled over, mumbling something. The younger me shifted as well, and I heard my own voice from the sphere, groggy.

“Ah…?” I could see my arm searching around in the darkness, and then I sat up, dithering sleepily. “My Lord? Are you unwell? Are you hurt? May I help?”

Braska chuckled, and lowered the sphere. “No, my friend, I am perfectly alright. Go back to sleep.”

“You should sleep too, my Lord. We- we should be rested for tomorrow.”

“I shall sleep soon, Auron. Thank you.”

The younger me made a noise in response, and lay back down.

“Truly, Auron,” Braska whispered, holding the sphere low. “You are the truest friend I have ever had. I cannot thank you enough. After all this is over… please, be happy in the Calm. That is my wish for you. Do not linger on your pain, but let it help you grow, and find happiness. The world is vast, and your future stretches out longer than the road we are on. I have treasured our time together, and I want you to live, and to make new memories with Jecht, and with the friends I know you’ll find. Auron, I will always be with you.”

Braska smiled again, and the sphere stopped. The wind rushed through me, and I held the sphere like a fragile flower.

I failed him. My pain was what drove me to death. The wish he had for me was thrown away, along with my life.

Yuna placed her hand over mine, and leaned on me. “He was so kind.”

I nodded, and looked down and away. I wasn’t sure if seeing Braska’s message made me feel better or worse.

Messages from the past could be cruel. Perhaps ignorance of his heart would have been easier.

“I understand him,” Yuna said. “He truly wanted to give peace to me, to us. Thank you for being his guardian, Sir Auron. It was easy to see how much he valued you.”

I turned to her, and she met my gaze. Stiffly, I returned the sphere to her, knowing it would be foolish for me to keep it. I had already lost it once on this mountain. I didn’t trust myself with it.

Tidus and Yuna had quite a collection of spheres between them, and were happily constructing what they guessed to be a timeline of Braska’s pilgrimage. I wouldn’t contribute willingly, which they seemed to respect, but they would sometimes ask simple yes and no questions that I gruffly answered.

They had searching the bright shallows of Besaid, finding mostly shells and the odd shiny rock. Tidus made a noise of triumph not long ago, I assumed he had found a particularly nice shell.

“Oh! Play it again!” Rikku’s voice chirped, and I approached with interest, wondering if they had found another of Jecht’s spheres.

Tidus was holding the sphere, and the others were grouped around him. They all looked up at me in unison when I approached, and I arched an eyebrow quizzically.

Tidus flicked the sphere on, and the scene was similar to our surroundings.

A perfect sunny day on the beach of Besaid. Jecht was filming, and there were several minutes of him kicking a blitzball around the beach.

“Yup, and look here, kiddo. There’s these little crabs. Auron says to leave them be, at least until they get bigger. Then we can eat em! Ha!” Jecht’s voice was rough, but the humour in it made me smile. “Where is that guy, anyway?” The sphere swung around, and finally, it settled on two figures in the distance. Even in the bubbling playback of the sphere, it was obviously Braska and I.

We were both stripped to the waist, and waded into the warm shallows of the beach. I remembered we were searching for a particular shell to give to Yuna.

“Hey, you guys!” Jecht greeted, and the sphere shook as he ran up to us.

I kept my face neutral as Jecht kept the sphere pointed at Braska. “We’re gonna have crab tonight, right?”

Braska laughed, and I was certain my expression was changing. I tilted my head further down in my collar, and merely watched. I could feel the others’ eyes on me, but didn’t acknowledge them.

“Crab, yes! And the sweet butter buns that Auron likes so much!” Braska smiled, and nudged my side. I straightened up, and I was taken aback at how young and cheerful I looked. In the sphere, I stood straight and tall, the deepest scars of the pilgrimage absent from my body. I had let my hair free, and it was tossed about on the wind like slashes of night in the blue sky. I was whole. Two eyes, and both my friends. What I wouldn’t give to dive into that sphere and be in that moment again. The others were probably equally surprised, and Rikku actually squealed, shaking Yuna’s shoulder and pointing excitedly.

“If that’s acceptable, my Lord.” My voice even sounded younger. It was almost embarrassing. The younger me turned towards the sea, and sighed. “This island is like a dream.”

“It’s refreshing, isn’t it, Auron?” Braska stretched, his bare skin shining in the sun. He was noticeably pale next to me. Though I did have obvious tan lines where my robe and armour usually covered me. I found myself envious of the smooth undamaged skin my younger self had.

“Yeah! Take a deep breath in through the nose!” Jecht laughed.

“Hmmmm…” I put my hands on the back of my neck, and took a deep restorative breath.  

“Auron, you look so _young!_ ” Rikku exclaimed happily.

I sighed, and kept my eyes on the sphere, until it ended with Jecht tackling me in the waves and an image of Braska laughing.

Tidus and Wakka both nodded appreciatively.

“You guys were good friends, ya?” Wakka said. “I remember when you all visited the island, but uh, I mostly played with Sir Jecht. Sorry.”

I shrugged, and Yuna smiled.

“It’s so nice to see such happy times on my father’s pilgrimage. You made it worthwhile for him, Sir Auron.”

“It was amusing to see such levity from you,” Lulu said, with good humour.

“Hmm,” I said, and returned to my spot in the shade.

I did have to wonder… how many spheres did Jecht take?


End file.
